As most of you know, I have been struggling with my health. The condensed version that I tell people is I have Lyme Disease, but I have come to find a better description of my illness. MSIDS (Multiple Systemic Infectious Diseases Syndrome). "MSIDS is a symptom complex of Lyme Disease and multiple associated tick borne co-infections that encompasses not only infections with Borrelia burgdorferi, the etiological agent of Lyme Disease, but also other bacterial infections, viral infections, parasitic infections, and fungal infections." Why Can't I Get Better by Richard I. Horowitz, M.D. page 58.
Since returning home from Seattle this past Spring, I have been actively fighting the diseases with a (large) combination of supplements, a special diet and lots of detoxing. And while my Seattle doctor would prefer we go after these infections aggressively, my body doesn't handle it very well. My local doctor helps to tweak my protocol anytime things get too rough, which is amazing, because there is a serious lack of resources in our area for proper detoxing methods. I know it has been hard on my husband and kids, as I am unable to contribute and be involved with as much as I used to be. (You don't realize how great your role is in others lives, until you are unable to fulfill it anymore.) On top of my own health issues, I have been trying to tackle my kids health concerns (my oldest two were vaccine damaged as babies/toddlers -- a result of not being aware of the genetic risks associated with MTHFR and Lyme Disease, which can be passed on from mother to baby in utero.) Getting confirmation that my babies were sick too has changed things in our household even more so. There are more protocols to follow, precautions to take, things to remember. Suddenly my health no longer feels like my top priority, though I do my best to remember that it is just as important. The stress of it all has weighed heavily on my family.
In late July another bomb was dropped into our lives. My dad (who lives in Florida) wasn't doing so well. They discovered large masses in his body (one of them being dangerously close to his heart) that have been creating a lot of discomfort for him. After weeks of different tests it came back that he has Follicular Lymphoma. There is no cure for this type of cancer, however, with the right lifestyle changes, you can live a long, healthy life. This is a possibility for my dad, but only if he can get the tumors to shrink. He started chemo/radiation in August and will have another PET scan next month. Until then it is a waiting game, filled with prayer, hope and a bunch of what if's that I try my best to shove into a tiny little box and lock away.
To sum it all up, I am pretty much maxed out. In the recent weeks, my symptoms have grown stronger. Lots of numbness and pain in my hands, arms, legs and feet. My vision blurs often and I am hit with waves of dizziness. My brain fog has been out of control, making concentrating difficult and overall, I have been exhausted.
With a sad heart, I must announce that until further notice, Bluebird of Happiness Photography will not be taking on any sessions. All of my energy and attention needs to be on my family and my own path to getting healthy. This has not been an easy decision. Every single inquiry I get, I think, I could do this one session. I'm sure I could handle it. I absolutely LOVE photography, but where my business is concerned, I only want to do it the right way. If I can't give you my best, I don't want to give you anything. It means too much to me. This summer proved to me that I most definitely can not give you my best right now. Not being able to drive home after a session, because I am exhausted, loopy and my hands are cramping so badly, I have trouble gripping the steering wheel has been a problem. Not being able to get edits done because my vision keeps going in and out of focus and my hand is unable to grip the mouse -- not to mention finding the time to edit in the first place is another huge issue. I hope that everyone can find it in their hearts to understand this extremely hard decision that I have made. I am praying and hoping that it is only temporary. (It's not if I beat this, but WHEN I BEAT IT!)
I am forever grateful for all of the love and support that I have received from family and friends.
All prayers, positive thoughts, happy, healthy vibes that you can send our way is very much appreciated. If you would like to look elsewhere for your family portrait needs, I highly recommend Alicia Hauff Photography, Pixie-Lu Photography and Horsefeathers Photography and Design. I have no doubt you will receive the absolute best service from any of the three. (Please hover over the blank spaces to see the names -- for some reason when I create a link, it makes the words disappear...)